Lazy Indiana: Reviewing Eerie Indiana

PSN went down and by the time it came back up, I had lost interest in watching this kid's show. However, I want to keep plugging through this, so three months later, I am back at it.
Gonna admit, I am being lazy and just reviewing two episodes at once here and I watched them back in April, and honestly I didn't want to watch them again, even though these are 20 minutes long.
It kind of dawned on me that not only is a monumental waste of time, but also a show aimed at children, and I am almost 30 years old.
That being said, I want to get through it so that I wont feel bad when I start reviewing important stuff like the Final Destination franchise or all the WWE DVD's on Netflix. So back to the show.



Episode 2: The Retainer

Again, I am not not going to go back and watch this again so all I can really remember is that this episode was not quite as atmospheric as the old episode. It is also clearly aimed at kids. If the first episode was to get parents to maybe watch as well, they abandoned that as quick as episode two. This episode is about a creepy dentist (played by the late Vincent Schiavelli, who was always creepy) who is installing retainers in kids that can make them hear dog's thoughts or some shit, I don't really remember much other than the talking dogs. If memory serves, they dog's were trying to take over the world and they might have eaten Marshall and Simon's fat friend. Like I said, this one was clearly aimed more at kid's but it was still directed by Joe Dante, so I am not sure what direction they wanted to go here. I could see this on a Saturday morning, or on Nickelodeon or the Family Channel (is that still a thing?) but at 7:30 on a Sunday night on NBC? That is pushing it.

Episode 3: The ATM with the Heart of Gold

Okay, we are really going off the deep end now. This episode wasn't even eerie. It could have just been called Indiana, and trust me, I live here, that would not be a show worth watching. So Marshall's dad creates an ATM machine that can feel human emotions for some reason. There is even a big unveiling held at the bank where the machine is installed...that actually does sound like something that would happen in Indiana. We are entertained easily. Well, the ATM gets his feelings hurt because no one will talk to him. Let me type that again, the ATM gets his fucking feelings hurt because no one will talk to him. Again, I am forgetting the shows reasoning behind making an ATM with human emotions, but I am pretty sure it was just as dumb as anything you can think of. Anyway, Simon's parents parents are apparently giant pieces of shit because he is always over at Marshall's house on account of their constant fighting. For reasons I can't remember Simon becomes friends with the ATM (see why I had trouble coming back to these?) and the ATM basically bankrupts the town. Also, this episode could have been called Dipshit, Indiana, because no one can seem to put two and two together when all the bank's money is gone but an eight year old kid can suddenly afford to buy a car and hookers. Okay, he might not have bought hookers, but it has been a few months. Eventually everything get's resolved and the town get's all its money back

I know this is a kid's show, but with three episode's in, i was hoping for a little more continuity or character development at this point. We are randomly introduced to people that never appear again like the fat kid that may or may not have been eaten by dog's and we still have no explanation as to why Simon and Marshall are such good buddies or why no one else in this town thinks that anything strange is going on other than these two kids. What is particularly bothersome about Simon is that as far as I can tell, he has lived there his entire life, so it is obviously noticeable that something is up in this town even if you are a native.
Maybe I am just spoiled by how serialized popular shows have become in the past ten years or so and can't really remember shows like this being so episodic. But even shows like the X-Files, that later became too bogged down in its own serialized mythology, still had great stand alone episodes and even early episodes had a developing relationship between the two leads. With Eerie, Indiana I just feel like I am thrown into this world with no explanation. Again, I am talking a show where a fucking talking ATM became best friends with a preteen boy and gave him money, so maybe I am asking for too much.

Okay, I have three more episodes that I watched today, so I am going to aim to get those done this weekend and then I can more on to more mature stuff like season three of Deadliest Warrior.

Lazy, Indiana: Reviewing Eerie, Indiana

Okay, a promise is a promise, and I am starting now.
As soon as I started watching the first episode of Eerie, Indiana (from now on I am just going to call it EI) I remembered what I liked about it as a kid. The first episode starts out with a narration from the main character, Marshall Teller explaining that his family moved from a typical New Jersey Suburb to the town of Eerie, Indiana. Eerie seems fine, but Marshall tells us that under the surface, something sinister seems to be afoot. After the narration the credits roll and we are treated to the cast members in different situations like running away from Bigfoot, and different clips of stock footage from old public domain horror movies, so in other words, stuff a 10 year old boy would love.
The first episode is very much a first episode, we get a voice over from Marshal explaining in more detail why his family moved to Eerie, and kind of giving a character break down of his family. Basically his dad, Edgar, works for a product testing company called "Things Inc." and they moved to Eerie because it is supposedly the most normal town in America. Marshall's mom, Marilyn, doesn't get much of an introduction, just a typical suburban 90's mom. His sister Syndi, gets a similar short introduction though Marshal, does make fun of her for the spelling of her name, which seems like he should really be making fun of his parents for spelling it that way not her. Now, I realize that this is TV and they only have about 25 minutes to get through a story, but as soon as the voice over is done, we jump right into the plot of the first episode. When the Teller's neighbor, Betty Wilson, comes over, she is hawking some diner ware product called Foreverware. It's just like Tupperware but better. This stuff keeps things fresh FOREVER. Something is obviously off with Betty and her creepy twin sons Bertram and Ernest (get it, Bert and Ernie) because Betty is totally off her fucking rocker about Foreverware, dressed like a 60's housewife, and Bert and Ernie are creepy little shits. They just stand there looking creepy and don't shake hands or any other social niceties that normal people do. As they are leaving, Bert or Ernie (come on, there twins, I can't tell them apart either) slips Marshall a slip of paper that simply says yearbook 1974. You can probably all see where this is going. Betty and Bert and Ernie are all oddly out of date, and the stuff she is selling keeps things fresh forever. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. Marshall and his buddy Simon (who is simply introduced as the only kid in Eerie who believes Marshall) starts snooping around and discover the terrifying secret of the Wilson's. I am leaving some stuff out, but not much.
So does it hold up? Do I still love this show? Is it the X-Files Jr. That I remember it being? Well, it isn't bad. The first thing that everyone will notice is that the show it pretty dated. This show is obviously a product of the early 90's right down to the flannel and denim shirts that everyone is wearing. Marshall might as well be listening to Nevermind on his Sony Discman, while watching Home Improvement and drinking a Crystal Pepsi and reading a Spawn comic book (please give me some more ideas for 90's references). Also, and I dont know if this is just the Netflix streaming or a bad transfer to DVD, but the picture quality isn't that great. Other than that though, the show is pretty good. It is obviously aimed at kids, but there is enough stuff in there to keep an adult interested. The two kid leads, Marshall and Simon are also pretty good for kid actors. They aren't annoying or to sweet like a lot of kid stars and they carry the weight of the show pretty well. The episode was actually directed by Joe Dante who directed both Gremlin's movies, the 'burbs, Matinee, and multiple episodes of Amazing Stories, the new Twilight Zone and just about every other anthology series out there. EI is obviously right in his wheel house. Creepy small towns, strange happenings, out of time characters, and characters that are not at all what they seem or have some terrible secret, all of these things are common themes in Dante's work. Dante is a competent director, so this isn't just some by the numbers TV show, it looks like someone put some thought into it. I did think that this episode was a little rushed but like I said, they only have 24 minutes, so they really don't have a lot of time for exposition and plot details. I bet with TV shows, writers know they have a lot more time to flesh out characters and stories, so the first episode just gives us a taste of Marshall's family and friends and focus on how he is living in Eerie.
All in all, it is not that bad. Obviously a kid's show, but not intolerable like a lot of other stuff aimed at kids. I was actually a little worried that this would suck and then I would have to either watch 18 more shitty kid's shows or yet again abandon the blog. I probably wont have time to watch another episode, this weekend so episode 2 will have to wait til next week. Til then, thanks for reading!

Better late than never!

Okay, I knew this would happen, I totally abandoned the blog. Several reasons, I started during the football playoffs and we all know how the season ended and I was in a state of depression for a few weeks and then it just got away from me. I had every intention of doing sort of a Batman movie movie review series, I even watched Batman: The Movie (the 1966 version with Adam West) and wrote a few paragraphs of a review a few times, I just couldn't finish it, and I kind of gave up.
Well, today I was hitting my normal sites and came across this blog and started to feel lazy. I remember reading this when he first started and today he had an article on Badassdigest.com talking about how he surpassed the 1500 movie mark. That made me feel lazy. Well, even lazier than I usually feel. This guy is actually closer to almost 2,000 movies now so that means he has watched and written about a movie a day for the last 4 1/2 years. I cant even write more than five blog entries. This inspired me to start doing this again.
I think I am going to focus more on just movies and TV since football is gay and might not even be around next fall, and I really don't read comics or watch wrestling all that much. Plus I know a lot more about movies and TV than I do anything else. Literally, anything else. Not that I know a lot about movies and TV, I just don't know much about anything else. I am by no means saying that I am going to watch and write about a movie every day, but I'm going to try at least every other day.
With my apology out of the way, I think I am going to start small. The Batman movie got me to thinking, what else did I love as a kid, but wouldn't even be able to sit through today. Probably a lot of stuff, but I always kind of assumed that I could stomach the Batman show because I know it was supposed to be corny, so I would accept for what it was. I couldn't do it. The stupid plot, the over the top dialog (the writers love alliteration) and low budget all combine to make me stop paying attention a half hour in. But what about stuff I really, really liked? I loved Back to the Future as a kid and I think I like it even more now. I loved Jurassic Park, and while I still like it, I would much rather watch Jaws. I am obviously not going to feel the same way about movies and shows at 29 as I did at 9 or even 19 but would I be able to appreciate these movies or shows on different levels, or would I see it as trash?
Eerie, Indiana was a show that I absolutely adored as a kid. I would have been about 9 or 10 the single season that it aired, so I was just becoming interested in horror and sci-fi. Eerie, Indiana was the perfect mix. It was aimed at kids, but just creepy enough that I could watch it and think I was watching something a little more adult. I wasn't quite ready for Freddy or Jason yet, but watching a show about a kid around my age in a creepy Midwestern town, was right up my alley. I have not seen a single episode of this show since they originally aired but remember talking about it in high school and college like it was still something I would watch, if only those network bigwigs hadn't canceled it. Well now, thanks to the magic of Netflix instant viewing, I don't have to wonder if I would still like it, I can find out for my damn self. The entire series is available to watch and I am going to start the blog back up by watching every episode. There are only 19 episodes and at only 25 minutes a piece, I think I will be able to fit them into my busy schedule at some point. Hopefully this will get me back on track and I can start with some more ambitious projects like the entire Alien Franchise or something even more obscure like Twin Peaks. I promise that I will put up my first review of Eerie, Indiana tomorrow afternoon and hopefully knock them all out in two weeks. Thanks for reading!

The Changeling (1980)

There are some movies, especially in the horror genre that don't age well. What would have scared people back in the 50's just looks kind of silly to us today. Some movies however are kind of ahead of their times and when you watch them 30 years later, it is hard to see it with an open mind cause you are thinking "I have seen this a million times." The Changeling is one of those movies.
George C. Scott stars as John Russel, a famous composer who witnesses his wife and child dieing in a terrible car accident. At the urging of his friends he moves across the country to Seattle into a huge sprawling mansion and teaches at a local college. Soon after he moves into the house strange things start happening. He hears loud banging sounds, people whispering and people walking around when he is the only one home. It also seems that not everyone wants Russel to rent this house. Some of the locals are less than friendly, and for a guy who just saw his wife and daughter get run over by a snow plow, this gets him a little fired up. Russel and his real estate agent (I think, I was kind of flipping back and forth to the Sugar Bowl, so I wasn't really paying the attention that I should have) start to uncover some pretty dubious goings on at this mansion and eventually discover a cover up that goes all the way to the US senate.
I know that it doesn't sound very exciting or groundbreaking, and truth be told, I felt a little bored watching it (hence the Sugar Bowl). I am usually pretty good at watching older movies in context, but this one really just seemed to drag and didn't hold my interest. Don't get me wrong, it is a very well made movie, it is shot well, the acting is top notch, and there is a very creepy seance scene that is actually scary. However, some of the haunted house cliche's have been done to death at this point and even though this one probably predates a lot of them, I couldn't help but be bored.
The Changeling is one of those movies that I can't even remember why it is my Netflix queue. It isn't directed by a big name director and it isn't exactly a genre classic so I am not sure what brought it to my attention. While it isn't terrible by any means and does have some redeeming qualities, I just couldn't get into it. Maybe it is worth another watch some day, but I am not wasting another Netflix spot on it.

I Declare, The Sugar Bowl.

So I don't think it is a shock to anyone that I don't have anywhere near the passion for college football that I do for pro ball. I think there are several reasons for this. First off, I went to a tiny D-III school where my football team was pretty much an afterthought. It didn't help that being located in Columbus Ohio, there were more Buckeyes fans at my school than Cardinals fans. I just never had that much school spirit so it never really carried over. I think that College ball is a lot more unpredictable and crazy than the NFL, so I really do understand how people love it so much. I also understand that if you did go to a Big 10 school or some other big football conference that your passions would run really high. I just can't relate.
I think the main reason is that I feel uncomfortable getting as violently angry with college ball as I do with NFL players. Now I realize that the real solution should be "Hey Adam, maybe you shouldn't be a crazy asshole who jumps up and down and throws shit and have physically hurt yourself over a fucking game that you have no control over" and you might be right. However, you can also go fuck yourself because I am not a very emotional guy, and football gives me a chance to get those emotions out. Again, this probably says more about my mental stability than it does my love of football, but again, you can fuck off Sigmund Freud. At least I am recognizing that it is crazy, and I make myself even more uncomfortable hurling insults at a kid that is two years out of high school than I do screaming at the millionaire NFL players that drop passes or miss tackles because they are fuCKING NO GOOD PUSSIES....sorry, got a little out of hand.
Well, go Buckeyes I guess and I am going to watch The Changeling with George C. Scott, so that should give me something a little nerdier to talk about.

New Computer, New Blog!!

Since I got a new computer for Christmas and I actually have a "G" button now, I want to start writing an actual blog. No real reason other than I am a nerd and I like writing and talking about nerdy things. I used to do movie reviews a lot on Myspace, but since only Mennonites use Myspace any more, I will start this. This is not going to be all movie stuff maybe some music, football, and whatever other nerdy things come into my world on a daily basis. Since I want to start watching more movies again it will focus a lot on movies though, just not exclusively. I would like to actually post once a day, but I'm going to be honest that probably wont last too long. I have a plan to review most of the Batman movies (I did all of the Superman movies on Myspace, and that was fun) and I'm sure football will give me a lot to talk about for the next month, so I should start off pretty strong. Well if you can consider writing about movies and sports with no readers and no money strong then I will start out strong. I hope everyone (both of you) who reads this enjoys it and please feel free to comment or give me ideas for movies to watch.